Thursday, July 17, 2014


I'm currently in the middle of still writing my post for my birthday trip with my boyfriend. Hopefully I'll get that done soon.

I don't really know why I'm blogging. I guess this is another rant - a personal blog.

These past few weeks since I came back from Exmouth has been pretty boring. Both my parents has left back go Thailand to take care of my grandma and business over that side of town and once again, I am left here with my two brothers.

To be honest, I'm bored.

I am bored.

My days are filled with emptiness, which, you should all know doesn't work with me. I like to be busy. I like having things to do, people to be with, and sometimes, yes I do enjoy stress. In some weird way it makes me happy even though I'm worried and tired and probably want to yell and punch someone in the face. I'd rather be stress than have nothing to. One day of nothingness is fine but anything more than that, I'm wasting my life away.

I guess it doesn't help with the profession I chose. Random hours and random chunks. It's so bipolar (I feel like I've been using that word quite often these days.) Teaching at my dance school has died down because Brooke (the original teacher for that class) has come back from where ever she was (I'm assuming Europe), so all I have left for that dance school is assisting the tiny tots class and pretty much back being a substitute teacher. 


Babysitting has also been quite bad since they haven't called me up much. They always catch me in the wrong time.

Metros, once again is the only thing that is going strong. Seriously though, once a week for 3 hours isn't going to help me much. At least its the only consistent thing.

I start with Buzz Dance Theatre in 2 weeks and I could not be more excited. I haven't danced, and when I say danced I mean properly danced, in such a long time. I've gotten lazy, unmotivated, and fat because there hasn't been any classes these past few weeks. I just want to start already. I want to be worked so hard that I go home exhausted and knock out by 8pm. I want to feel hungry again. And lately, I haven't been...

One good thing is that I started reading again.

Last time I picked up a book was probably Year 12? Matt suggested me to read the book series Divergent by Veronica Roth, and I'm so glad he did. I've been obsessed with it! It has only been maybe 6 days and I've already read the first and almost finished the second book! (yes I am a slow reader, but thats how I like it) I forgot how exciting reading books can be. It's just as good as movies except better because everyone and everything that is described to you is made up by you. There are no limitations. To be honest it is the only thing that is exciting in my life.

I'm so sick of reality. Nothing exciting really happens in reality. I got so lost in this book that I'd rather read it than go to class in the morning because it is more exciting to me. Sometimes I feel reality doesn't have much to offer - but then I could be saying this now and completely change my mind later...

 I think thats why I sometimes (slash most of the time) like to pretend to live my life like in the movies or books or musicals. I know thats not possible and nothing in books, movies, or musicals actually happens in real life but sometimes  I can't help it. I can't stand being boring and conform to the way of day to day life. I wish music would start playing at certain situations. I wish when I get a new job, people on the streets will suddenly break into dance with me that we all surprisingly just know. In a way it is selfish and it is childish. But you can't live life without imagination and fun. I can't leave my inner child.

You must be thinking "What the fuck is wrong with this chick, grow up!" or "Holy shit, are you on crack? Go hang out with some friends!" I totally agree, I should grow up, and I am a grown up. I just enjoy being free from all the expectations and obligations of an adult. It gets boring and too painful. And I would hang out with my friends, if they weren't all in Europe right this second. 

Anyway, sitting in my hammock with my dog faith and blogging is as much as I can do now.

I guess I'm just going to start reading again. So I leave you with these pictures of my beautiful dog Faith. These were taken on my birthday party before I left to Exmouth.


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