June is coming to an end and my 21st birthday is coming up. I think I may have said before that I wasn't looking forward to it and I didn't want to turn 21. The turning part is still true, but I'm not going to lie - I am looking forward to it. Mainly because I'm going to Exmouth with my boyfriend for by birthday!
I'm so excited!
This will be the first time I've traveled with my boyfriend on a plane and staying in a place that isn't his or mine. Unfortunately, none of my friends really gives a shit because they're all in Europe partying it up and dancing away (them bitches.) But I'll get to share this excitement with myself and Matt. For now, I need to focus on finishing my Hong Kong trip video and deciding which sushi I want for my pre birthday lunch party this Saturday.
It's strange how it feels like there is no time to do anything but I actually have so much time.
This past few week, I've been feeling like there has been a bug in me. Not literally but I just feel a bit off and not exactly happy. I would blame it on the post traveling and having itchy feet but I know its not that because I'm flying off to Exmouth next week. I've been doing lots of retail therapy which has caused my account balance to drop tremendously and for some reason I feel like being angry at something or at someone. I feel bad for Matt because of course I would start one on him. Physically, I'm getting upset and blaming things on the other but internally, I know I'm the one who started it and I know I could end it.
But I choose not to because stupid girl.
I've had a few revelations about things especially since working with Daisy for our full length work Status Room. It's really been spiralling my head around. Maybe I just need to let some steam off because of this work that I'm doing with Daisy? Too much for me to handle?
I feel really unmotivated and dead. I can't even get myself up to go to STRUT classes in the mornings.
I think its this whole 21 one thing.
I read an article the other day called "If you're dating a Woman or a Girl"... something along those lines. It basically listed the difference between a girl and a woman. I feel like I'm stuck between both. Actually it just made me feel really shit about myself. I don't feel like going into details...
On the brighter side, I'm taking Matt out to dinner tonight to Jamie's Italian. I made a booking 2 months ago and the day has finally arrived. I feel like I've made it such a big deal.
I think its because its the first time I haven't been out on a proper date with Matt in a very long time.
And I am excited!
I even bought new shoes specifically for this date (and also cause I need a plain classic black wedge that would go with anything.)
Life is boring.
To be honest, I just want to go to Exmouth already so I have some sort of excitement happening in my life.
Oh by the way, I got a small contract offer from Buzz Dance Theatre.
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