At the moment there are distractions.
There are lots of distractions to keep me away.
From thinking it - thank god.
But when I don't have any more distractions, its hard to think it.
It's space is too much for me to handle.
I know it's true, and I can trust.
But its hard when it doesn't give you its eyes,
its sound,
its warmth,
its texture,
its beating stone.
And you start to be curious, and wonder around,
this place,
where everything is green but behind the trees there could be cracks.
I know there isn't any cracks, but its hard to think that when it has planted its seed.
I do like my distractions.
Distraction is my best friend, and I know it will always be there for me.
It reminds me of my purpose here.
Why my feet has landed on this ground of uncertainty.
And for now, I think I would like to keep it up -
to dive into the unknown and soak up its energy.
To forever be lost by myself, within myself, around myself.
But its too close so its quite hurtful, even though theres nothing to be hurt from.
To need, to want distractions.
Just forget about it, and in time,
I will know.
//
I've officially started my small contract with Buzz Dance Theatre this week! Basically, I'm learning the duet from their earlier this year Plain Jane. Let me tell you, even though the duet is 20 mins long, its a fucking killer. The girl part (which is me) pretty much dances for the whole 20 mins non stop and it is a hard, detailed, whole body, difficult dance. I'm picking up pretty quickly which is good, but it's keeping up the energy and knowing how to spend my energy wisely so I don't die out within the first 2 mins.
Also, Daisy and I will be doing our launch for our work Status Room tomorrow night, which I hope goes really well. We did a test run tonight to a small group of friends (mainly Daisy's friends) and it actually went really well. There were a few hick ups here and there but over all, it went great.
I'm super tired but also so happy to be dancing so much again. I've realised how much my body has adapted to pedestrian "normal" people style over the couple of months. What I mean by that is that my body isn't moving a fluid as it used to, compared to the beginning of the year. This made me realise that I need to keep it up, ALWAYS.
On some exciting news, I have applied to do the Australian Dance Theatre's open auditions in Melbourne later this month. The cost of flights is going to cost a bomb (pretty much half a grand) so... not so exciting for my bank account but exciting for my dance career and experience. I know I probably won't get in but I'm very keen to go through a real professional audition process. It's all about the experience baby! I've also applied for the Gaga Workshop in September with Strut Dance. Hopefully I get a spot in it! I really want to be able to do it but whether I get a spot, I don't know.
An update on life. I leave you once again with no new photos, but of Beth Hoeckel's work. I enjoy her stuff.
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